Jaspur's She Stories

    They both fell into separate beds, allowing exhaustion to take over.   It had been a marathon day.   She herself hadn’t slept more than 4 hours in a row since she had stepped off the airplane 2 days earlier.   Grandma, in her early 80s, had endured the long road trip to see her son’s decline.   The sunlight had brought the 8:00am meeting.   They all knew what the meeting was for.   As his only child, she had won a spot on this particular committee.   Grandma was invited in as well.   He had married his longtime girlfriend, about two years earlier, was the only other invitee.   She arrived at the hospital at 7:55 with her entourage in tow.   Somehow, the wife’s sister and nephew were also ushered into the small room for support.   It was made clear as the meeting began that she as his daughter, and wifey would be the decision makers in the room.   Everyone else was just there to support.   The conversation...

              They faced each other, outside standing near the park bench.  It was the first time they disagreed, the first real decision as a married couple, that needed to be made.  And they disagreed.      Funny thing was, by the time she was a teenager she had decided she wouldn't even have children.  Her relationship with her mother and father, contentious.  Her family, non traditional, dysfunctional even.  With cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents states away there wasn't much to bond with nearby.  She didn't particularly value or look up to her own parents.  They certainly didn't seem very happy or satisfied with their own lives.  Why would she inflict a similar dreary existence on a another person?  The idea of staying single and childless fit into her idea of the path of her life.   But her teenager self seemed a lifetime away.  Now, she had been married all of o...

…..Back at the hospital it was clear that there was nowhere to go from here but down.  The monotone of the breathing machine and the beeping of the heart monitor was the background music as she sat by his bedside.  She rubbed lotion on his dry, cracked feet.  She massaged his swollen hands.  The doctor came in and announced that the following morning, there would be a meeting to determine whether or not life support should continue.  She had an odd feeling that you were really "an adult" to attend a meeting like that.   With the doors closed and having her dad all to herself, she told him about his grandchildren...how they were full of life and how blessed she felt to be their mother.  She sang to him.  "How Great Thou Art" and "Where Can I Turn for Peace" two of her favorite hymns.  No response, but at least he seemed comfortable and not in pain.   Her father was the oldest of 3.  His mother had been married 5 times, and had 3...

She turned the radio on in the rental, to make sure she stayed alert for the 45 minute drive to the hospital.  It was well past midnight and therefore ironic that Anna Nalick's 2 am was playing on the radio: . .he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss "Just a day," he said down to the flask in his fist Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year Here in town you can tell he's been down for awhile But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles  ... Forever after, that song would remind her of her father.  That particular night, she was doing exactly what the song suggested...just trying to breathe.  She was in the last stretch of road from the major city she flew into, to the smaller town where her dying father lay.  The verse of the song pricked her; her father likely adopted his drinking habits from his service in the Air Force, during the Vietnam Conflict.  He'd lied about his age, and enlisted at 16 years old.  By the start of Vietnam, he'd al...

She was her family's emotional janitor.  From the birth of her first child, it had been natural to give freely and entirely of herself for her loves.  For the three years prior to that first baby's entrance into the world, she had honed her wife-ing skills.  Tailoring her schedule and energy to her husband's needs and wants.  His job took precedence of course.  He dictated how church attendance and activity went, because he was more experienced and he knew best.  Not verbalized as such, but just understood as the arrangement.  She was so grateful and happy to be living her actual lifetime fairy tale that she forced all this into the "Happily Ever After."  She felt loved, wanted, and had a purpose in being a wife.  At that beginning stage, she was still developing herself through her education and learning more about religion.  At this stage, she wasn't aware of the manipulation or the deficits in spite of the good intentions of everyone ...

She was stretched thin.  As if caring for her three, active children wasn't excuse enough; they were preparing to put their historic home on the market.  The previous few weeks had been spent painting and staging the large, family home...originally built in the 1840's.  The "COMING SOON!" for sale sign had been in the yard for 2 weeks, to generate interest in her home.  It had worked, and they had two showings first thing the next day.  Problem was, there was just no way to make the old house look....well, new.  Her husband worked long and odd hours, often traveling.  Her 3 kids were all under the age of 8, and not exactly "helpful" in keeping the home in order.  The youngest wasn't even sleeping through the night, still waking half way through to cry her way into momma's bed.   As dinner approached, she thought about how she hadn't planned anything for dinner.  She also thought about what a mess it would make.  She called her ...

It was usually just her and her mom on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  They would walk down to the Boy Scout Christmas Tree Lot, and choose one of what was left of the trees.  What was left of the live trees were usually the misshapen and scraggly.  "It's a tradition to decorate the tree on Christmas Eve!" Her mother would remind her...and they'd decide which of the free trees was the best.  Then, they'd lumber and carry the sharp needled, sap dripping tree the 4 blocks to their southern California rental home.   Once they got the tree through the door, they would then wrestle the stump of the tree into a metal base, the same red and green one they used every year.  Every year this seemed one of the hardest aspects of the decorating process.  She didn't really understand why we needed to provide the tree with water but, she trusted her mother.  Implicitly.  She was still in her single digit years...before pre teen doubts and questionin...